The irrationality of a toddler never ceases to amaze me. Couple it with a late bedtime and you find yourself staring at this tiny little demon you created wondering if you should laugh or scream at the insanity.

Carter: “I want mommy to tuck me in.”

I carry him upstairs and tuck him into his bed.

Carter: “I want daddy to sleep with me.”

*eye roll*

Me: “Chris! Carter wants you to tuck him in now so come up to his room please.”

Carter: “Not in THIS room, YOUR room!”

I scoop him up and carry him to our room as I yell down to Chris to meet us in there instead.

Chris enters our room and lays down next to Carter.

Carter: “Ugh, what is daddy doing in here? I don’t want HIM in here. Tell him to go!”

Chris: “Carter, you literally just asked for me.”

Carter: “But there are 2 PERSONS in the bed! I ONLY WANT 1 PERSONS IN HERE!”

A little too eagerly, Chris jumps up and exits the room.

Me: faintly whispering “Don’t go….I’m scared”

At this point I realize I’m in it for the long haul so I slowly put my arm under Carter’s head in an attempt to get comfortable and settle in.

Carter: “UGH. DON’T TOUCH ME! Hands to yourself, Mommy!”

I quickly pull my hand out.

30 seconds later, Carter snuggles up next to me.

Me: “Do you want me to put my arm around you?”

Carter: “Well YEAH!” said in an agitated tone.

I reluctantly put my arm under him again and before my head even hit the pillow…

Carter: “I want to sleep in Deklan’s room with daddy!”

Me:

That’s when I tap out, grab my laptop and start writing this shit down because you have to choose laughter or we’ll all go mad.

Cheers,

Amy